I still remember, 16 years on, how you calculate the missing side of a right-angled triangle: a2 + b2 = c2.

That information is useless to me.

What would I like to know instead? Well, how to groom my pubes into a neatly-trimmed triangle (my style of choice) would be a start. Although not a right-angled one, it’s true.

I am pro-hair, on both men and women. I’m pro-hair on myself. But I’m not pro the way it looks most of the time, and I certainly don’t feel positive about either my ability to style it the way I want, or to ask someone else to do just that.

Which, to be honest, worries me.

I am, on the surface, all body confidence and positivity. Naked in the changing rooms. Topless on the beach. Fucking with the lights on. But what I project? It’s sure as hell not being reflected back at me.

I believe, wholeheartedly, in two things. Firstly, that body positivity is important, even when it’s a struggle, and that it’s more important for me to come to terms with my body the way it is than to cave to society’s demands that I change it. I will, for example, only try to lose weight when I’m in a good and happy place, because I’m trying to like myself more, not less.

Secondly, that there is no shame in asking  questions when you don’t know or can’t do something. And I do a shit job of landscaping down there. I’d like to be smooth underneath. I’d like zero hair in the creases between my thighs and my pelvis. I already go to the beautician to have facial hair waxed, which, truth be told, should bother me a whole lot more for the lack of femininity it implies. But I don’t. I don’t go because I worry that beauticians never see clients with pubes as unkempt and wonkily-shaped as mine. I worry that they’ll judge. I worry that I won’t know what to ask for.

Because I don’t want a Hollywood, a Brazilian, a landing strip, or a postage stamp.

I just want a triangle.

So why the fuck can’t I say so?

8 thoughts on “Triangle

  1. Maybe if you find someone you trust you might be able to say what you want? I shave my pubes and there was a time when I tried to do a landing strip and even a triangle, but I am shit at it too and always ended up shaving all of it off. Nowadays I don’t even bother anymore…

    Rebel xox

  2. I can totally relate to this. I like the idea of a neat little tuft of hair and so when I was growing it back I tried to achieve that. To me is looked wonky and weird and the more I tried to make it look nice the smaller and smaller it got.


  3. Sorry for being possibly boringly practical, but at the waxing salon I go to a ‘Brazilian triangle’ is an option and what I always have – bare underneath and a neat triangle at the top/front. But wherever you go you can ask for whatever shape you want – and of course they won’t judge you for what it looks like now. They see all sorts.

  4. I feel this in my soul!
    Shaving/trimming at home is a nightmare for me, either because I do it wrong, or because I get all sorts of ingrown hairs and assorted grossness. And, the issue is, I also favour the triangle.
    I absolutely hate getting my nethers done though. I only went twice, and both times, my request for a neat triangle had the lady look at me like I hailed from Mars. I wish beauticians were trained not to judge the standards that fall outside those of Hollywood. 😦

  5. I agree so much with your comments on hair, I like hair and I like my men to have hair. I have natural hair not particularly thick but I don’t feel like a prepubescent girl I feel like a woman

  6. I tried landscaping my experimental bush too, thank heavens I made him take an image before I started because I made a right mess of things!

    I’m too much of a wimp to try waxing, aside from the fact I hate the regrow the stage. Like you I feel like I’m judged when I goto a salon, I’m just not girlie and feminine enough to know what I’m doing or what to ask for.

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