When I started this blog in 2013, it was a mixture of all kinds of stuff – my relationship with the guy I was seeing at the time, an increasing interest in BDSM and a D/s dynamic, an attempt to better understand how disability and mental health issues affected my sex life, some erotica, and the odd Christmas gift guide thrown in for luck – hence the ‘(of sorts)’ in the name.
More recently, the focus has moved more towards fiction, and while not everything I write could necessarily be classed as ‘erotica,’ there’s usually some kind of erotic element in my stories. I’m particularly fascinated by shame, humiliation, psychological domination, and how sex affects our relationship with ourselves and with our bodies.
If you want to get a feel for the kind of thing I write, check out the following posts:
- Rules are made to be broken, February 2014
- Cream doesn’t rise: the state of UK erotica, August 2014
- Machine, August 2015
- On rape fantasy, September 2015
- £10.53, December 2015
People often ask exactly what my disability is, as I tend to refer to it fairly obliquely as ‘my disability’ in the majority of blog posts where it crops up.
I was born with left-sided hemiplegia, which causes weakness and lack of control on one side of the body, due to a shortage of oxygen at birth. Hemiplegia varies in severity from person to person, and I’m lucky that in my case it’s mild – I can walk, experience discomfort, mostly, rather than pain, and live a completely independent life. The most visible sign of my hemiplegia is that I limp, because my left leg is shorter than my right.
Although I’m still learning exactly how it affects me (this has changed as I’ve got older, both because my body has changed and my life experience has increased), the biggest effect it’s had on me and my sex life is confidence-related, meaning that I’ve also been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Writing about it here helps me come to terms with that, and find ways to work round it, and I hope it might be helpful to other people who identify as disabled, too.
You can find out more about the effects of hemiplegia via Hemihelp.
If you have questions, comments, suggestions for things you’d like me to write about, or if you’re interested in writing a guest post, you can contact me via email at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter. I also have a Facebook page.