She is a sucker for a keepsake. Here are just some of the things she has kept over the years:
- Twenty-four numbers of men with the surname Tinder.
- Two condom wrappers, torn, empty, in jewel-like colours: one red, one purple
- Four restaurant receipts, none of which are from meals bought for her, all of which are for meals split, not just two ways, but exactly, to the penny, according to who ate what. She’s glad that guy’s gone. She’s not really sure why she’s kept the receipts.
- Tabs on his ex-girlfriend’s insta. Yes, she still checks it. Occasionally.
- One Eurostar luggage tag from a minibreak in Paris. The only time she’s not gone there alone.
- A note of the kind of food his cat likes, in case she needed to buy more while he was away on that business trip, and she was cat sitting. Except: he wasn’t away on a business trip. He was three streets away; fucking someone else.
- One stuffed dinosaur, holding a stuffed heart. From Sainsbury’s. A Valentine’s gift. From Sainsbury’s. Still, she won’t take that out on the dinosaur. It’s not his fault, so he never quite makes it to the charity shop pile.
- One apartment key.
- A business card from a ceramics place he thought she might like. It turned out he was fucking the woman who ran the ceramics place.
- A blue sweater, worn soft by endless washing. She still wears it from time to time. She still thinks fondly, from time to time, of its original owner.
Here are some of things she has not kept:
- A man