Wow, it’s been quiet around here recently, hasn’t it? I’ve been making my first proper foray into writing erotica during NaNoWriMo and the word count got a little bit on top of me near the end. Still, I pulled it off with just half an hour to spare, so I’m feeling pretty proud of myself right now.

This afternoon, I rewarded myself with a trip to see Blue is the Warmest Colour, a film that’s getting a lot of critical attention. It’s very long (179 minutes), especially for someone like me who has the cinema attention span of a small child, but it is also excellent, and not just because of its much publicised 7 minute sex scene.

That scene though, in my opinion, is not what makes the film sexy. By the by, isn’t ‘sexy’ a ridiculous word? Nothing makes me feel less sexy than hearing someone refer to something as sexy. Anyway, I digress. What makes it sexy isn’t just the usual things that I find hot about sex – like watching fingers press hard into flesh or redness rise from a playful slap – it’s also the way it homes in on the little details – the way the light shines through Adele’s fringe when Emma is sketching her, the unlikely hotness of Adele’s voracious appetite. Because really, aren’t these the things we find sexy about the people we love? Things like the freckles on a guy’s shoulders, or the way his jeans hang from his hips, a particular quirk of his accent or the way his cock looks when he’s hard but still wearing his jeans.

I don’t think we’re restricted to seeing sexiness in people of just one gender either, no matter what our sexual orientation – much as I adore men, I can get equally turned on by good cleavage or a woman with great lips wearing gutsy lipstick.

It’s also easy to zone in so much onto what you know turns you on in your fantasies – for me, dark, damp alleyways and sex with strangers – that you forget to be open to other stuff. It’s why I love finding sexiness in unexpected places, like this bit from one of my cookbooks (yes, really!), Joanna Weinberg’s How to feed your friends with relish:

‘There was runny cheese to follow, then ice cream and very fudgy brownies. Ed ate a lot, in a pleasing rather than greedy way. He instinctively made sure everyone’s glasses were always full. All I remember, from under the haze of alcohol, was that he asked me a lot of interesting questions. I couldn’t have told you what they were the next morning, but I definitely found them interesting. I don’t think I talked to whoever was sitting on my other side at all.

After a while, it must have been late, and everyone else seemed to melt away. Suddenly it was just me and him in the flickering light of the kitchen. So I went and sat on his lap and I kissed him.’

Despite that, I find that you can go a surprisingly long time without seeing something sexy in day to day life, especially if you’re single. So, one thing’s for certain: although girl on girl doesn’t usually turn me on, this is one film I’ll certainly be buying on DVD.