Wicked Wednesday: First Time

The stories of my first times are scattered round the internet. Girlonthenet has the story of my actual first time. My first real wake up call to kink is this post. First kiss is here.

That leaves two, by my reckoning.

‘Write about your “other virginity”‘ suggested someone on Twitter who’s not usually so coy. Anal, I presume she means.

I could. In truth, I’m a little surprised that I never have written about it. I’m not ashamed of having done it, nor of the fact that I like it, much to the surprise of some of my RL friends, who have only ever had bad experiences of anal. The secret to good anal is quite possibly doing it with a guy who is a) not anti being on the receiving end of it and b) knows his way round a bottle of lube, although I didn’t know that either of those things was the case when he first said ‘I really want to fuck your arse.’

But with anal, although I was undeniably nervous that it would hurt, I liked the fact that it felt like something he was entirely in control of. I can understand why that’s the very aspect of it that might terrify some people, but I like it when the responsibility for something physical is taken entirely out of my hands.

So let’s talk about something where it’s not.

I don’t think about my hard limits all that often anymore, but for a long time, oral, both given and received, was my hardest of limits.

Giving head is a skill, undoubtedly. I still think I’m really shit at it. I still worry about grazing him with my teeth, about gagging, about the fact that I can’t make him come that way.

But I used to think you gave oral in order to get oral.

When did that change? The first time he fucked my mouth so hard that my face was a liquified mess of tears, mascara, saliva and pre-come.

It felt like more of a milestone than anal.

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11 thoughts on “Wicked Wednesday: First Time

  1. I clearly remember my first time anal, but I cannot remember the first time I gave oral. What I do remember is the first time I swallowed when giving oral. That was a huge milestone for me!

    Rebel xox

  2. I remember my first time with anal…I remember the first time my mouth was fucked, too. Rawr.

    What I learned about oral – giving, I mean – is that a lot of it is learned and a lot of it is personal style. For years, I thought I didn’t give good head because my style was a bit rough and abrasive. Then I found the man who loves my style and thinks I’m *GREAT* at oral. I guess it’s all about perception. Of course, mouth-fucking eliminates a lot of that. 🙂

  3. I always found face fucking was more scary than anal, it’s a barrier of security being broken down. I believe you have to be 100% secure with the person who is doing either, knowing that they will stop, when you say so. Good post x

  4. I can relate to so much of what you’ve written here – on both the anal and the oral. Regarding the first, this is the sentence that really stands out for me: “I liked the fact that it felt like something he was entirely in control of.” That is it in a nutshell. I love how vulnerable this act makes me to M. On the second? I think the switch flipped when I connected that same level of vulnerability with my mouth (and throat). Jane xxx

  5. I don’t know if I’m shit at oral or not, but I’m awfully self-conscious about it. I enjoy it when I can tell he enjoys it, but my current boyfriend is SILENT, and I can’t make him come with my mouth because he’s so fucking big. I think the key is to be with somebody you’re super comfortable with, somebody you can just experiment and play with, to see what feels good for him and what you’re good at doing. I’m still trying to figure it out!

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