Ode to missionary

There’s a small chance that if I post something tonight it’ll tip my blog hits over the 10,000 mark, and seeing as we all (well, me at least) love a bit of stats porn, it seemed as good a reason as any.

I was perusing Twitter a few days ago, when I saw this Tweet. And I was looking at it again just now and the comments, especially ‘never been bored on my back tbh’ made me LOL on the bus (it’s ok, I promise never to say that ever again). Because I totally agree. I love the missionary position, and not just because I’m all insecure about my body, but also because:

1. Oh my god, you’re so STRONG

Actually, it’s perhaps not that you’re so strong. It’s perhaps that I’m *so* weak. Seriously, last week I nearly cried because I couldn’t open a screw top bottle of wine and I thought I was going to have to go to Lakeland and buy one of those bits of rubber that helps you open jars during your last few years on earth.

But either way, boy-strength is sexy. I was once quite in love with a guy who, despite being skinny as fuck and almost certainly weighing less than me, could nonetheless stand on the side of mountains and make me feel safe when I completely flipped out and refused to climb any further. Just by holding my hand tight.

When it comes to missionary sex, that strength is sexiest when you use it against me. When you grab my wrists, cross them and hold them above my head so that every time I try to wriggle free you can force me right back where you want me. And if I’m also pinned below the waist by a particularly deep and punishing thrust of your cock – well, so much the better.

Kiss me

I’ve almost certainly blogged about this before. There are plenty of other positions I like, but nothing beats missionary for the sheer accessibility it gives you to my lips and my neck. Foreplay, I can take or leave. Except for the kissing. Whether gentle, hard, with tongues, or even a little bit bitey, this is the one thing I really can’t get enough of. Feel free to leave bruises, too.

I love watching you come

Admittedly, there are better positions than missionary for a good view of a guy’s come face. Woman on top, for instance. Personally, although I’m no longer anti being in the saddle, it’s not a position I can climax in, so I tend not to be on top as things come to a head.

Still, it frustrates me that so often guys will turn their face away as they come. Believe me boys, for all the ridicule and jokes around your ‘come face,’ I promise it looks nothing like this. That mixture of vulnerability and pleasure is really fucking hot.

Let me see it. Please.

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