Just over a year ago, a friend texted me. ‘You know,’ she said, ‘When you’re discussing with Kristina Lloyd on Facebook the fact that there’s no anal sex in Fifty Shades of Grey and that that’s ridiculous, *everybody* can see that.’

She didn’t mean *everybody*, of course. I’m not stupid enough to have a Facebook profile that’s wide open to the general public. But she did mean my mum, my aunts, my old boss, friends of friends …

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