This is the second, and final, Christmas guest guide (of sorts) – (see the first one here) – and it’s the choices of none other than the wonderful @notsosexintheci. As previously, the guide contains 5 items which total no more than £100. And I’d be happy to fine a lot of these in my stocking in a few weeks’ time.

1. Wooden Dip Pen Set with 8 Inks, £23.99

I really want to be one of those people who can master the art of calligraphy, so I reckon this dip pen set would probably help out with that. I’d probably just make a really big mess, but at least it’d look really cute on my desk.

2. Starlight Projector, £47.95

I just feel like this might really help with my insomnia. I had a colour-changing light strip that sat on top of the TV and plugged into a USB port once, and I loved the way the different colours danced around the room at night. Also, it’s just really cool.

3. Grow Tin – Killer Carnivorous, £7.99

Honestly, I’ve always wanted a Venus fly trap. I find killer plants weirdly fascinating. (I can’t have any plants because my cat eats them, so plant-ownership is a luxury for me.)

4. Happiness Aromatherapy Candle, £11.50

Firstly, I like to buy cute stuff from small businesses on Etsy to make myself feel better. Secondly, who doesn’t want to walk into a room that smells like happiness? I’m not really sure I believe that aromatherapy actually works, but I do love a good smelly candle!

5. Letter K Notebook, £7

There’s something almost orgasmic about opening a brand new notebook and seeing those blank, lined pages ready and waiting to be defiled.

This Christmas, aside from, y’know, the standard SBOS gift guide, I thought I’d try something a little different, because hey, you can never have too many gift guides, right? And so the Christmas guest guides (of sorts) were born. Two fabulous tweeters agreed to be guinea pigs for the new format and they’ve both picked a fabulous selection of gifts.

The remit was (relatively) simple – five gifts totalling no more than £100. Today’s tweeter, the lovely @BeStillMyBeaten, has done a stellar job with the budget, managing to pretty much hit £100 bang on. Here are her choices:

1. Eat the Rich necklace, £21

This necklace comes in yellow and rose gold colour, as well as the silver shown above. There are also lots of other ‘Fuck the Tories’ type designs, if, unlike me, you understand that metaphorically, rather than taking it dangerously literally.

2. Latex fractal frost crystal pasties, £8

One of the best things about having guests on the gift guide is that they suggest things that are genuinely sexy and, y’know, befitting of a supposed sex blog.

3. Madame’s Christmas set prints, £28.33

Arty. Sexy. Christmassy. What more could you want?

4. Glass anal plug, £35

Slightly bad news on this one. The plug that @BeStillMyBeaten chose (shown in the image) now seems to be sold out (my fault, for taking days to write this up!), and judging by the Etsy review, the person who bought it is delighted with it. The good news is, the store in question has lots of other beautiful toys.

5. Cuterus, £7

Look at that little face! Also, every purchase of one of these supports The Vagina Museum which, like a lot of museums, is having a pretty hard time because of Covid.